The Island: Me

Recently I've become aware of the fact that I am somewhat of a social recluse. It's funny because I don't remember when I became this way, or what exactly started my transformation from public participant to a self-made semi-shut in. I suspect maybe it has to do a lot with a change in lifestyle when I got married. A change for the better in so many ways, yet, a change that took me away from familiar faces and comfortable friends. People that have known me and been there for me for years are now miles and miles away. Of course, I keep a little in touch through the phone and that necessary social evil that is Facebook, but it's not the same as sitting down across a table from someone.

I've found myself pretty lonely lately. Not in a depressing, head in the oven, kind of lonely. More of a whistful, nostalgic lonely. I feel like the more I try to inject myself into the "social scene" around here, the more I want to just hold on to the memories of the people I use to spend time with.

Today I took Carter to the park. A bunch of the Baby-Mammas from church take their kids on Fridays, and I feel like it's an opportunity for me to work on my rusty social skills while getting Carter out of the house. I admit, I do like some of the Mammas. I don't really know any of them very well, which I guess is pretty pathetic after living here for over 6 years. But, anytime I'm with a group of them, I find myself bored to death and just wishing I were somewhere else. I don't know what it is about them, I guess they're just so positive, whole, and together. I like my people deep, damaged, and on the verge of insanity--like me. I know being around these people is supposed to be healthy, but when I hear them ramble on about the cute things their kids say, how their food storage is coming along, and church activities I can't help but feel nauseous. What is wrong with me? These people are genuinely nice people, but I just don't bond with them at all. Worse of all, I feel they have all bonded somehow and I'm the odd woman out. It makes me sad to not have many friends, but at the same time I don't find many of the people around me lately very interesting at all.

I need deep conversation. I want to talk to people about politics, philosophy, art, and life in all it's gritty details. I want to be able swear here and there without feeling like I'm going to melt off ears. I want to have people over and not worry that the walls of my apartment aren't plastered in stupid decals that say "Family" "Laugh" "Love" and that kind of vinyl manufactured affection.

I guess I should just go hang out at AA meetings. Those people are interesting.

Ameriphobia: The New Face of Prejudice

Do you cringe at baseball games when the “Star Spangled Banner” is sung? Are you afraid of small government and individual freedom? Does the sight of US Presidents on your currency cause your hands to become clammy? Do Tea Parties give you facial ticks? If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you could be an Ameriphobic.

Ameriphobia is generally defined as: An irrational fear or hostility of America, Americans, and the individual freedom America provides her citizens. Negative feelings or attitudes towards patriotic behavior, the United States Constitution, and American citizens, can lead to Ameriphobic behavior. Ameriphobia is the root of the discrimination experienced by America, as a country, and her millions of proud American citizens. Ameriphobia manifests itself in different forms, for example: jokes about Americans, political attacks, media misrepresentation, organic t-shirts with sarcastic phrases, judgmental bumper stickers, NPR, and exclusion at Sunday afternoon drum circles are just to name a few.

There are many factors that can cause a person to be Ameriphobic. Research has shown that prejudice against Americans and patriotism can be linked to several factors:

 Resentment towards the superiority of The United States of America
 Having strong political beliefs or ideologies that discriminate against Americans
 Having little or no contact with proud Americans
 Attending public schools or public universities
 Belonging to a liberal/progressive political party
 Having been raised by communists, socialists, fascists, or theocratic dictators
 Living on the East Coast, or California

There are a variety of ways Americans experience Ameriphobia, including: name-calling, dirty looks, assaults by shrill Code Pink members, discrimination at local co-op java shops, and airplane attacks on tall buildings. All forms of Ameriphobia are destructive, not just for people living openly as proud Americans, but for the free world as a whole.

Living in an Ameriphobic environment forces many proud American (PA) people to conceal their patriotism, for fear of the negative reactions and consequences of coming out. For people who have been brought up to believe that American exceptionalism is wrong, the realization that they might be a PA can cause feelings of independence and liberty, leading to pride in one’s country. The dilemma of whether to ‘come out’ as a PA or not can cause a great deal of personal distress.

Jason, a resident of Santa Monica, CA, shares his coming out experience:

I remember the first time I displayed my patriotism in public. It was the 4th of July and I decided to put an American flag up in my yard. Sadly, the flag waved on its pole for about a day before it was stolen. Soon after that, I started receiving disturbing calls from people telling me to, “Go back to Texas!” I assume they were referring to Texas’ reputation for being PA-friendly. Word spread quickly about me being a PA. I got anti-PA pamphlets in the mail from Moveon.org and ACORN. It even got so bad that KCRW revoked my membership without any reason. That really hurt because I love “Morning Becomes Eclectic”, and the no nonsense reporting of “All Things Considered.”

Unfortunately, John is just one of the many people who have been led to believe they should feel guilty for being American. Sarah, a student at NYU said,

“I was thinking of getting a “Join or Die” tattoo on my wrist, but I was afraid of what some of my school instructors would think—so I got it on my shoulder where nobody but my close friends would ever see it. Now that I’ve come out as a PA, I wish I had put the tat on my wrist in the first place so everyone could see I was American and proud!” So sad.

So how, as a society, do we combat Ameriphobia? Below are a few ideas:

 Ameriphobes should begin by practicing tolerance. Just because you’re ashamed to be an American doesn’t mean others have to be.
 If you know someone who is a PA, talk to them openly about their proud American lifestyle and ask questions. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the more an Ameriphobe learns about a PA, the more likely he/she will get to know them for who they are—not for the negative stereotypes that have been created about them.
 Education. Many people are Ameriphobes just because they are misinformed. Did you know some people think that you can become a PA just by crossing the U.S. border? The fact is, for most people, the only way to become PA-positive is through the U.S. citizenship process*.
 Read about the American founders and what they wanted to achieve by establishing the United States of America. Study up on the Civil War, Revolutionary War, and WWII. Learn what it is that makes millions of people so proud to be American, they are willing to risk their lives. Talk to an immigrant who went through the citizenship process. All of these things will give you perspective as to why many people choose to be PAs instead of Ameriphobes.
 Play a game of baseball. Eat an apple pie. Start a small business. Buy a gun. Speak freely. Vote in an election. Practice the religion of your choice. These are some of the many things PAs enjoy—and if you try, you might find out you do too.

Ameriphobia can be conquered. If you have an open mind, are willing to educate yourself and explore the world of patriotism, who knows—maybe one day you may even come out as a PA. After all, it is a free country.

*Once given citizenship, many have been known to quickly contract patriotism and become a PA.