Gym Tip for Today

When heading to the gym, please make sure you brush your chompers. It is one thing to smell of body odor while you are pumping iron or running intervals on the tread mill--I mean, it would be weird if you didn't sweat at the gym. But, if the bowl of mothballs and hot steaming mug of urine you had for breakfast can be smelled by the person running next to you on the treadmill, you should be ashamed of yourself. How do you think that person feels when they take a deep breath of what they expect to be fresh air, and instead of fresh air they inhale the humid stench of your rotting gums? I'll tell you how they feel--violated! They feel as if their lungs had been raped by a group of full-time, community college students just home from their spring break in Tijuana! That's how their lungs feel! Dirty, so very dirty...

*cough*

So, anyway, the moral of this Gym Tip is:

Brush your pearly whites before heading to the gym, lest you want your fellow gym-goers to spew forth vomit in the nearest trash receptacle.

Sincerely,

MH-Dos