The Newest Threat

For kicks lately, Cody and Colton have started telling Carter that they are going to "bite his head open". This, of course, terrifies Carter and he will either scream bloody murder or cry, or alternately do both. In response to this, my blood pressure rises, boils, and probably thins...a little. This pisses me off. So, I calmly tell the boys to leave Carter alone, 99 percent of the time they don't listen and keep tormenting Carter. This pisses me off even more. So, then I yell at them to, "knock it off!" If they don't stop after this, I scream some more incoherent rants and take an Ativan. Then, everything is okay.

The End.

Efficiency

I take three pills every morning: birth control (to keep me from getting pregnant), Wellbutrin (to keep me from going crazy), and Hydroxycut (to keep me from getting fat). One would think the first one would handle all three problems.

The End.