This morning I dropped the boys off at school for their last day of the 8th grade. Their last and final day of middle school. Before we got to school, at their request I took them through the McDonald's drive through to get a pre-last-day-of-school bite to eat. A "last breakfast" if you will. They munched contentedly while we drove our way to school, KJazz soundtracking the morning on the radio.
It's cloudy out right now, like it was this morning, but the rain has stopped. Sometimes the rain here isn't what you expect when you think of "rain". This morning the Pacific rain was just a mist; a mere suggestion of weather from an indifferent storm system. It made the sidewalks and air smell lovely, and the moisture provided a balmy cover up for my bare arms.
As I got closer to the school, I thought about how far I have come with my boys. From a bumbling, foolish teenage mother of tiny preemies to the matured mother of two tall, confident young men. I am amazed by them each day--the strong personalities they have developed, the inquisitive minds they have grown. I want to take credit for who they are right now, but I would feel like a thief. As their mother, the most credit I can take is one of stewardship. I've shown them the ropes of this wacky thing called life, they're the ones who have each taken the world into their hands and will make it into what they want it to be. My reward is watching them journey down their own individual roads. I get to be a spectator of their passions, dreams, and development. I get to cheer them on as they reach various destinations.
We pulled up to their middle school, McDonald's fully consumed, and my boys ready to finish off what they started three years ago. The rain was still drizzling on the windshield as I watched them walk in to school together. Endings, beginnings, sons, brothers. I took the long way home, past the beach. I cried while Bill Evans played on the radio. Words will never describe how amazing it is to be a mother, but sometimes jazz comes close.
You're such a good mother, and such a good writer. I love when you write about motherhood, because all that goodness just exponentially multiplies into so much beauty.
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